Hello hello,

It’s been a while since you last heard from me.

As January quietly comes to an end, I wanted to check back in.

A new year often brings fresh intentions.

But sometimes, the body has its own plans.

When the body speaks loud

My return to you comes after a rough patch, one where my relationship with food was tested in ways I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

It began with shoulder and back pain that kept getting louder.

At first, there was denial.

This is nothing. It will pass.

But when it didn’t pass, frustration took over.

Why is this pain so insistent?

Why now?

Why me?

The illusion of control

Like many of us, I tried to manage it the “right” way.

If I rested enough.

If I took the medication.

If I did physiotherapy.

If I exercised carefully.

Then surely, I’d be fine.

But week after week… month after month… I wasn’t.

I grew depressed.

I felt helpless and hopeless.

And slowly, my relationship with my body turned adversarial.

When food becomes refuge again

As the pain persisted, my relationship with food suffered. I found myself comforting with food even while knowing it wasn’t what I truly needed.

The old distance from my body returned. And from that place, abandoning myself into food felt easy again, something I hadn’t done in a long time.

That was a hard truth to face!

Naming the season I’m in

Little by little, another reality emerged.

My body has entered perimenopause loudly.

As my doctor put it, this is a season of turbulence before things settle.

Right now, I’m in the middle of that storm.

Accepting aging hasn’t been linear.

There have been moments of resistance, grief, and fear.

But something has shifted.

From resistance to relationship

I can now say this with honesty:

I’m okay with aging. I truly am.

My body doesn’t need to be fixed or perfected.

It doesn’t need to behave on command to deserve love.

From that acceptance, a different kind of care has emerged:

• Gentle eating
• Gentle movement
• Patience with processes that take time

My back isn’t “perfect.”

But my relationship with food has softened and stabilized again.

And that feels like coming home.

A quieter kind of strength

This isn’t the dramatic reset we often associate with January.

It’s a reminder that balance with food isn’t about control.

It’s about staying in relationship with your body, even when it’s uncomfortable.

When we ignore or push against our body, food often steps in to soothe, distract, or numb.

But when we truly listen, care for, and inhabit our body, food can shift back to what it’s meant to be: nourishment, not a refuge.

With care,
Rouba

P.S. As January wraps up, which one sounds closest to your experience with food right now?

• “I feel out of control again”
• “I’m managing, but it takes effort”
• “I’m somewhere in the middle”
• “Food feels mostly calm”
• “I don’t even know, it’s confusing”

There’s no right answer here, just the one that’s true for you.

Hi I am Rouba, I blend food addiction counseling with breathwork to help you heal the root cause of your food and body struggles so that you sustain weight loss. Visit my website here to learn more about me and how we can work together. Follow me on Instagram and Linkedin​